The Day I Counted The Locations of My Poison Ivy
Not to beat a dead horse, but somehow my poison itchy has spread even more! Last night as I tried to pass out by taking good ol’ Benadryl I really didn’t think it possible for this damn rash to spread even further.
Boy, was I wrong. The places I’ve found itchy bumps now include, but are not limited to, mind you:
- Back (the original location of origin)
- Side (think bra line area)
- Chest (completely covered and certain not to skip the boobage)
- Cleavage (yes a body part all it’s own)
- Neck (front back sides, you name it)
- Behind ears
- Inside, yes! Inside my ears
- Cheeks
- Eye sockets (The skin not the actual eyes yet thank God)
- Nose
- Nostrils, it’s in my freakin nostrils (I’m not going to deny I pick my nose on occasion but come on!)
- The itchiest have to be the bumps on my chinny chin chin (these little effers are starting to blister)
Luckily it hasn’t made my eyes swell shut or ventured to my nether regions yet, and don’t even think I’m going to let it. As soon as the clock strikes one I am high tailing it to one of the many urgent care facilities that I have so heartily tried to get in contact with all morning. Apparently they don’t understand the full meaning of urgent (or care for that matter).
I hope, but cannot promise, this will be my last entry pertaining to the itchy nastiness that has become my skin. If all goes as planned it will be put under the control of many a prescribed substance today.
Just be grateful you’re not Jeremy. He’s had to live with my winey, A1 smelling (my cream/spray smells like A1 steak sauce) bumpy ass for the past two days. Always the optimist, last night he proclaimed -‘Well, it can’t get any worse.’ I’m sorry to say, you were proven oh so wrong J.
