Didn’t You Get My Birthday Wish List?
Don’t worry, I’ll take late presents.
-The skin of a 23 year old, and not an awkward 14 year old. As much as I enjoy pooping (a typo, but I’m keeping it) zits, it gets kind of old after ten years of doing it.
-A flying car. In what year was The Jetsons set? I’m sure there has to be some sort of model of a flying car in development somewhere. I insist you find it for me.
-A mute button for my boss. While we’re at it, how about just a general control? I’d really love to make him do the robot on demand.
- A Wall E. I’m not talking a stuffed animal Wall E or a little figurine. I mean the real thing. One that will wave at me when I leave for work in the morning, sing me show tunes, find the treasure in my trash and most importantly, say Harb-E in that cute little Wall E tone of his.
-A talking dog. I could make another Jetsons reference, but I think you get the point.
-An air tunnel in the backyard. I really enjoyed sky diving. I’d like to recreate in my backyard whenever I please. While we’re at it, get me a backyard.
-The ability to transcend time and space. I’m told at the highest level of Scientology you get to do that. If they can, why can’t I?
-An oompa loompa. So I’ll feel tall and pretty everyday of the week.
-A high five guy. A guy that stands next to me at all times to high five me whenever I say something clever.
-A wine tree. You know, a tree that grows bottles of wine.
-A Red Vine Tree. In the same vein as a wine tree, but this one grows Red Vines. Oh! and Swedish Fish. Mmmm Swedish Fish.
-A bevy of small animals that help me clean. Like in Cinderella.
-A get out of all natural disasters free card. Cause natural disasters scare the pants offa me.
-A handicapped sign for my rear view mirror. I’m tired of being discriminated against in parking lots.
-A segway. So I can feel much cooler than all you deuche bags that have to walk…I totally just spell checked deuche.
-An endless amount of cream pies. So I can pie people whenever I feel they deserved to be pied.
-A spider monkey. I asked my parents for one the Christmas of ‘94. I don’t think they took my request as seriously as they should have.
-Wings. Real ones. So I can fly. I’d like them to be detachable though because shirt altering to fit them would get tiresome.
-Shirts that are altered for wings.
-A super power. Pretty self explanatory. Not like some you see on Heroes though. “Oh look! I heal really fast!” Boooooring!
Well that should do it for this year! If you have any further questions regarding my requests, please, feel free to ask. I’d hate for you to get me the wrong thing and feel like an idiot. Also, if you have any ideas that you feel would be nifty for my big 2-3 please feel free to think away! But be sure to check with me first. As I mentioned just a sentence ago, I’d hate for you to feel like an idiot.
