Something really got my goat on New Year’s Eve. Yes, I am unabashadly using a bad pun, it’s my blog leave me alone. Let me preface this by saying, I had a really good time on NYE. My buddy Justin threw quite the shindig, and I happily had a reason to get dressed up and wear lots of makeup. Not to mention cutting a rug, hanging with some girlfriends, meeting Allegra’s new man and enjoying some all around mindless tomfoolery.
However, after an abundance of fun was had, and I was walking around aimlessly (my friends had mostly left) drinking loads of water before my journey home, when I noticed a less than attractive, I’m being nice, tall lanky man with a big bushy goatee following me around. Spotting a friend sitting on a couch, I quickly beelined there and allowed them to drunkenly chatter at me while trying to look deeply interested in what they were saying in attempt to give this guy a clue.
It didn’t work. He proceded to stand directly in my line of vision in a way that I had to really try to not look at him. Staring at me, he made come hither motions with his hands while I pretended not to notice, then not to care, then to be utterly annoyed.
Did it register? Not even a little bit. Mind you, he never said a word to me. He apparently thought playing the part of Creepy McCreeperson would get him further.
I realize it’s New Year’s and most people tend to leave their inhibitions at the door. Not to mention this guy had probably been abliterated for hours by that point, and my being sober and annoyed may have come off as desperate to make out with anyone, but come on! If this guy has ever picked up a girl, ever, or with these methods, I would be greatly surprised. So why on earth was he so confident I would fall for it?
Finally, I got fed up enough to say very loudly that I was going to the bathroom, (oooo look at me. Quite the trickster!) and practically ran to my car. Hopefully that’s the last time I see goatee dude, but for all of you facial hair officianados (I’m not entirely sure what I mean by that, but it sounds good) if you have the guts to try to get the attention of a girl more power to you! I encourage it in fact! But keep in mind, following them around creepily and not saying a word isn’t the best way to go about it. In fact, you’re running a high risk of getting pepper sprayed.
Luckily for him mine wouldn’t fit in my cute beeded bag.
Oh, and invest in beard trimmers.
